Over on Substack

Emma Darwin has started a thread about rereading books from childhood. She has said she is concerned about rereading "Charlotte Sometimes" (Penelope Farmer), wondering whether she will still feel something for it.  She remembers it with "deep scariness". I can understand that. I was a bit older than her when I read it but it is a very unsettling book. There is a copy somewhere on my bookshelves. The fact that I am not absolutely certain just where suggests that it is a book I too would hesitate to reread, at least for now. (There are too many other unsettling things in my life at present.)

But Emma's thread started me thinking about the books I have reread as an adult. Was I disappointed in them? I have to confess here that I have a reasonable collection of children's books published post WWII up until around 1975 and some more besides. I collected them deliberately because they were disappearing from library shelves and I felt some of them at least would be worth keeping. Among those are books I have reread and still enjoyed.

I still love "The Woolpack" by Cynthia Harnett. Yes, there is a lot of history in that book and that might be a major attraction for me now as it was when I first read it. At the same time Nicholas is a real boy, keen on getting away from his lessons if he can. He is starting to grow up. His mother is - shall we say "conscious of her position" as a wealthy merchant's wife. There are all the little details of Nicholas's betrothal and more. Nicholas and his friends are resourceful and determined. It is a good book on more than one level. The Senior Cat read it when he first gave it to me as a child and would sometimes suggest I encourage a child to read it. It is that sort of book. What's not to like in rereading that?

I have reread "The Little White Horse" (Elizabeth Goudge) too. A couple of years ago I, at the insistence of others, sat and squirmed through the film version. The film version was appalling. The story line was like a different story altogether. There was absolutely none of the "magic" in it. The characters seemed like entirely different people. I rarely like film adaptations anyway but if I had been a child and come across the film before the book then I may not have wanted to read the book. That would have been a waste because it is a good book, a very good book. 

Neither of those books are available at the local library. I am glad I have copies and that I have copies of other books by Cynthia Harnett and Elizabeth Goudge. I could go on talking about other authors who mean something to me, authors like Elinor Lyon (what's not to like when you find your own name in a book?) Yes, I know her books well. They were very popular with the Whirlwind and her school friends. I wrote "not quite sequels" for them to read as well. 

It was not just Emma's thread which started me thinking about this. This week I borrowed a Marjory Allingham from our library. I had to go into the Large Print area to find one because the books there tend to be of less recent publication. The reason I wanted to read one was that someone I know has started a "club" on her knitting site which also involves the books. I have no intention of joining the club but I know people will be talking about the books as well as knitting. My education in crime fiction (which I confess to loving) had a gap in it. I had never read an Allingham. I am reading it at present and I will finish it but I doubt I will ever bother with another. So far it is predictable, although perhaps not quite so predictable as a Christie. It is not a book I would reread. I would return to the books of my childhood long before that. 

A day without water...or trains

There was a printed slip in the letter box a couple of days ago, an official slip. It was from the people who are responsible for our water supply. There will be no water between 9am and 6pm they tell us. At present it is 7:40am. I have had a shower and done a load of washing. So far it has been a "normal" day. 

I am nevertheless glad there are multiple rainwater tanks on the property. It was one of the first things the Senior Cat did after building the house in 1984.  One of our then neighbours looked askance as the tanks were delivered and then fitted to various collection points. 

"What," he demanded to know, "Do you need all that for?" 

The Senior Cat smiled and just said, "The garden."  It was for more than that though. It was for just such situations as today. There will be water if anyone needs it. That is unlikely. The old neighbour has long gone but the new neighbours all took the advice of the Senior Cat. They have added rainwater tanks to their properties. It makes sense in a hot, dry climate where houses are built on "Bay of Biscay" type soil.  Gardens are important here - or at least some greenery around the house. It keeps the soil stable and prevents houses from cracking - or at least cracking to the point of needing repair. Not all the older houses have been as fortunate as we have. 

In summers past we would take the "grey water" out and pour it on the lawn. I have stopped doing that now. It was very hard work and my rear paws are not as mobile as they once were. As I am the only person here the rain water does the job for the most part. My neighbours on one side have an elaborate (and expensive) sprinkler system which is supposed to save water. I have no desire for any such thing. It seems to me J...is forever needing to fiddle with the box that controls it. I have a system too. It consists of two hoses. One of those hoses is connected to the biggest tank. The biggest tank is currently almost full because we had some unexpected heavy showers recently.

But, water supply or not, I was planning on going out to do a number of things today...and now there are no trains. I don't get far unless there is a train - on which I can take the trike. I rearranged my life and considered a trip to the library (where there will be water) and muttered something to Middle Cat. Her response was, "We should have a day out. I have to take the clock to be repaired and the only person who knows about such things is in T.... It would make a nice trip. We can get some lunch at the bakery there."

The bakery is well known. A trip to T... sounds good. I can sit and knit while Middle Cat drives and we can have something "wicked" at the bakery for lunch. Maybe we should have days without water (and trains) more often.

 

Closing the "mental hospitals"

was done to save money. It was thought it could be done when the then new anti-psychotic drugs became available. They were going to be the wonder drugs which would allow people to live "normal" lives. All people had to do was keep taking them and everything was going to be okay...except that it has not worked out that way.

The man who committed the horrific act in the suburban shopping centre allegedly had a history of mental illness. What he was thinking at the time we will never know but is there a chance the whole incident could have been prevented if he had been taking some sort of prescribed medication? Did he need to be in what we used to call "a mental hospital" - a psychiatric institution of some sort?

There are several "group houses" in this area. They are supposedly there for the benefit of people who have psychiatric illnesses, people who need a bit more help in coping with the everyday world.  If someone asked me whether they "work" my answer would be a firm "no". The residents of these group houses wander the streets for the better part of the day. Some of them come into the library, others wander into the shopping centre. There don't appear to be any programs or activities designed for them. The library staff cope as best they can when there is an "incident". The shopping centre staff sometimes provide a free drink in order to get them outside again, away from shoppers who feel uncomfortable in the presence of people who are often unwashed and definitely strange. 

For some time one of the female residents would come to the knitting group at the library. We did what we could to accommodate her. I actually admire the way in which our group worked hard to try and make her feel welcome. She thought she could knit and she had some idea but it was a mess. I and another member would try and give her some discreet help but she would get agitated if it was "wrong".  More often than not she would "forget" to come. She really only appeared if she happened to see us there and had, for some reason, packed her knitting into her bag.  We have not seen her for almost two years now. I have no idea what has happened to her. Perhaps she will simply turn up one day? It does bother me though. I wonder what has happened to her. Have they moved her somewhere else? Did she lash out and injure someone.

And there is the man who buys the big bottles of cheap soft drink and then sits outside the shopping centre rocking backwards and forwards. Someone tried to move him on one day and intervened. It was a silly thing to do I suppose but I told them he was not "drunk". The person trying to move him on looked at me in disgust and strode off - but at least he left. The mentally ill man just looked at me and went back to drinking something orange coloured as he rocked backwards and forwards. He still comes in each morning for the same bottle of drink. There was genuine concern for him the day it was not available on the shelf but one of the senior staff poured tins of the same cheap drink into a bottle and gave it to him that way. It was a small act of kindness but it also prevented an incident. This man is non-verbal. If something goes wrong in his world he cannot defend himself. 

I wonder whether someone like our "knitter" or our "soft drink" man would be better off in a facility where they had activities designed for them. What would happen if they had to get up in the morning and someone ensured they had a shower as well as taking their medication? What would happen if they had to do some gardening or they were taken on a hike into the hills to collect rubbish? What would happen if they were given any sort of activity at all? 

It might be cheaper (although I doubt that) to have them "housed in the community" or would it be more dignified if they were actually cared for? Would it also have stopped the tragedy of those stabbings?  

Colleagues in Israel, Syria,

Jordan, Turkiye and Iraq all contacted me yesterday. They all wanted one thing - to know if I had heard from anyone else. Were they all right? Had anyone heard from our colleagues in Gaza? 

I answered all the queries as best I could and sat there thinking about it. I have not heard anything from anyone in Gaza for several weeks. My good friend and colleague Z... had been contacted by someone I did some work for, someone who has the almost impossible job of trying to distribute the aid which does get through. That was it. 

All the others who had contacted me were people who have worked as volunteers in those complex humanitarian emergencies which seem to plague the region. Some of them are professionals trying to help other professionals. Some of them are tradespeople trying to rebuild areas. Some of them are in roles that try to see the free flow of such assistance and much more. None of it is easy.

The interesting thing yesterday was their concern for each other. It was triggered by Iran's barrage of missiles and drones into Israel. When a neighbouring country starts to use your air-space it can have the exact opposite effect of garnering any support. The two Jordanian colleagues were clearly very upset by this and indicated that there was no support among those they know for Iran's actions. The picture I get is that the Iranian government is not popular in Jordan. I might be wrong but my colleagues are educated people. They have worked with Israelis for many years. Some regard each other as friends. 

In Israel itself there are Jews and Arabs working together. They seem to regard their colleagues as friends. Their children know one another, sometimes play together. It is all very different from the picture the news media portrays. Yesterday I wondered again at what the "average" person on both sides of the conflict really thinks. How many of them would do what two families I know have done and support the others through illness and the death of family members? How many of them teach their children to "love not hate", that Palestinians need to have (at very least) a place to call home but that what Hamas did in October last year is wrong?

I answered all the queries as best I could. I sent messages on where I could. I deleted information that might cause concern. I put things into careful words - the sort of unofficial code that everyone understands when even expressing concern can lead to trouble. I curled up on my sleeping mat last night and worried. Had I been careful enough?

This morning in my work email in box there were responses. All of them were positive. Everyone was relieved to know that their colleagues were still alive and still working even if communication is difficult right now. 

At the very end there was a message from Z... It didn't use any words at all. It was simply a "smiley". Yes, we can smile for a moment even amid the horror of it all.   

Six dead and more critical

is not the sort of news anyone wants to hear. 

I tried not to panic yesterday because a family member could easily have been in the shopping centre where the incident occurred. Having heard nothing I assumed that person was safe but I knew others had not been so fortunate. It was all a little "too close to home" as they say. It was not the sort of thing we expect to happen in this country either. This is "not that sort of country" - or is it?

Quite possibly the person who committed this act was mentally ill. We will never know for certain what he was thinking because he is dead. It may be that this is better for all concerned. It is still going to cost a great deal of time and resources to investigate. There is the cost of the emotional and physical trauma for those directly involved and the emotional trauma of those peripherally involved. The financial cost will be high too but it is the other costs that really matter.

Those costs will go on for years. If the nine month old baby survives she is going to grow up without a mother - and that is a life sentence. I wonder what makes someone attack a mother and child, people they do not know...and I think of this happening in other places because there are people who are fighting for supremacy and control without any care for the individuals who stand in their way.

I am wondering too how the policewoman who shot and killed the perpetrator feels this morning. Yes, it is something she was trained to do but it would never have been something she really expected to do. She now has to live with the fact she has taken the life of another human being in an ordinary suburban shopping centre. Her action was to shoot and her reaction was to start CPR on the same person. The latter says a great deal about what sort of person she is likely to be. I hope she gets a lot of support from now on. She is going to need it...and telling her she is a "hero" is not the sort of support she needs.

No, we don't expect anything "like that" to occur here and it is wrong. It is also wrong it is happening in other places. I want people to think before they act - and they won't. 

Some of you are going to disagree

with this but I am going to say it anyway. We do need some special schools.

This morning's paper has a story about a child who was given "time out" for an entire day because he fought with another child in the classroom. His mother is up in arms about it. The school principal has been "counselled". The media is suggesting it was "inappropriate". I could go on. 

I do not know the circumstances so I cannot comment. However I have just been having one of those quick conversations with a local dog walker. He had read the article before I had and wanted my opinion. I was cautious about responding but he was not cautious about his own views. His grandson is in the same class as another very disruptive child. 

"My daughter says the kid is autistic. If he is then he needs to be somewhere else. It's not fair on the other kids."

I know this man's daughter and I have heard about the problem from her. I have seen the child in question, although not in the classroom. I have seen him more than once in the shopping centre with his mother. Yes, he is a problem. His behaviour is bizarre. In a classroom it would be very, very distracting for everyone. His teacher is doing an amazing job coping with it for short periods each day. The rest of the time it seems he is "wandering" around the room interfering with what the other children are doing or he is "one-on-one" with a teacher aide who is really there for three classes, two of which have children with other very special needs. 

There is no other school placement available for this child. There is no "special" class, unit or school available. It is all too easy to say he is "better off" in a regular mainstream classroom surrounded by children who behave "normally", that he needs to be there for his own benefit. The question surely has to be "what about everyone else?"

Even if this child is given one-on-one attention all day what if he is still shouting and lashing out? Is a mainstream classroom really the right place for him? Does he find the situation as confronting as others find it having him there? Is this what it is like for the child who was given "time out" all day?

School is a very different place from the schools I attended and even the schools I worked in. Education methods have changed dramatically since then. I am not sure they have necessarily changed for the best. Countries where methods are more "traditional" do seem to have higher levels of achievement - and I am not referring just to places like China. It might just be that the way schools are functioning now simply does not suit all children, that there are children who find the situation simply overwhelming and that those who would once have found it hard to function in a regular classroom now find it impossible. I know I could not work in classrooms I have seen in recent years. They seem noisy and chaotic to me. If what is going on inside your head is noisy and chaotic too this must make it worse.

Would providing a small, well regulated and quiet learning space actually be a better thing for some of these children? Would it be better even if it isolated them from the mainstream and treated them as "special"?

 

Talking to strangers

is something we are taught not to do as children - and rightly so. It is also something most of us do not do as adults. 

I am prompted to write this because someone I know has just written she has been "breaking all the rules" and talking to people on London transport. The encounters were apparently good ones too. 

It reminded me of an incident several days ago. I was in the Post Office. It was the first really cool day for a very long time. I was actually wearing a heavy cotton jacket. The girl behind the counter said something about the fact that it was "so cold" and that she "might put the heating on tonight". Someone else joined in. I know the staff in the post office quite well - well enough for us to know each other's names - so I said, "Softies!" They laughed and a complete stranger joined in with, "Well I live in the hills and it is colder up there so I turned my heating on last night."

We all looked at him. He gave a cheerful grin and said, "Well, that's my story and I am sticking to it."  

All this was simply cheerful, friendly chat but I left the Post Office thinking that there is not a lot of that sort of thing any more. People don't talk to one another as much as they did. I wondered yet again whether it has something to do with the fact that many people get in their cars to go somewhere. They don't walk. They don't catch public transport. Now they also have the added distraction of their mobile phone screen. It is all a perfect excuse not to talk to other people.

I am going to get my 'flu vaccination this morning and I am almost certain that I will go into a silent waiting area. That might be understandable in a medical setting but it seems to be the same in the wider community. What happened in the Post Office seems to be rare and I think we all felt better for it.

Middle Cat seems to be able to talk to anyone anywhere. My friend G... is much the same. They can get a life history from anyone in no time at all. Much as I like listening to other people I cannot bring myself to start a conversation in that way - or ask the questions which will keep it going. 

I will respond to other people though. I am not going to stand and stare straight ahead. My phone screen holds no attractions for me.  I am never going to drive a car. I should have more conversations than I do. What is going on? Are we losing the art of conversation?